Late Breaking News on Cubans and Cake

By Chris Lawless

It’s well known, at least to Cubans (which of course means only to Cubans because who knows any Cubans except other Cubans? Cubans live on a little (well sort of big) island in the middle of the ocean. The deep shark-infested ocean. So they just talk to each other. And a Canadian now and then. And everyone knows Canadians don’t count. In fact Canada isn’t a real country. It’s just a big white space way up in the north somewhere. Look on any map. You can see for yourself. Oh and Miami. There are a few Cubans in Miami. Just a million or so. And one or two elsewhere on the globe. But they just talk to each other. If there are no other Cubans around they blog. And then they just read each other. But that’s neither here nor there. Now where was I?)

Oh yes, it’s well known, at least to Cubans, that Cubans like cake. A lot. Cubans live on cake. They don’t really eat anything else. Just cake. And every now and then bouillon cubes. With a little rice maybe but mostly bouillon cubes. (We know this because Yoani told us so in her blog. Well she told other Cubans. Who read her blog. Who already know this for themselves because they know what they eat, so I’m not sure why she mentioned it. Especially since there was no cake in that particular entry. All of Yoani’s other entries mention cake. Maybe that one was ghost written. By a non-Cuban. Probably by someone working for the CIA. But that’s neither here nor there. Now where was I?)

Cake. I was with the cake. And this is news. Forget everything else. Anyway, it doesn't matter, because if you’re not Cuban you didn’t read it and if you are Cuban you already know it because every Cuban knows everything every other Cuban knows because they all know the same things on account of living on that Island thing they live on, among the sharks. Hmmm…. I think we got distracted again.

CAKE. Here is the news. This time I promise, just the news. CAKE. Cubans like cake. With lots of frosting. Sweet thick frosting. Really too thick and sweet for any non-Cubans (like those random Canadians?) to even consider eating. But who cares. It’s not made for them. It’s made for the Cubans.

You know… I think I lost my train of thought but I’m sure there’s a guillotine in here somewhere and maybe a queen.
We’ll come back to this when we have a late-breaking update.


Tags: cake, cubans, ocean, Bienal de La Habana, canadians, Miami, Yoani Sánchez, blog, Cuba, Canada, Island>, news>, food, guillotine, queen, brake